So I’m 33 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I went from weighing 135 to weighing 190! My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 11 years and have had a pretty good sex life..at least I thought we did up until I hit about 25 weeks pregnant.

Lately he seems uninterested in me. Even if I try to get his attention it’s basically a lost cause. Like tonight I put my hands down his pants and start messing around and he laid there basically sighing over and over. And then got up and got on his xbox to play video games...and it actually really hurt my feeling and just makes me think even more about what I look like now and that maybe he doesn’t have interest in me anymore. I’ve started to feel really down about myself. I have stretch marks on my stomach, stretch marks on my boobs, cellulite on my legs. I’m not what I used to be. I have a huge pregnant belly right now and he doesn’t understand even when we do have sex which seems like rarely now that its really hard for me to be in certain positions even when I try to tell him.

So after tonight and being completely rejected I lay in the bed while he sits in his gaming chair and I just take a look at our google history and find porn..whatever..him looking up nude photos of specific people..still whatever..and cam girls, ugghhh. Now i know he hasn’t paid for these girls because I would see this on our bank statements..but still. I’m just hurt..and I feel even more disgusted with myself and the way I feel like I look right now.

Some serious preggo depression coming on 😔

And I’m sad theres no changing my body back to how it was. I feel defeated...