Would you stay? (long post! read if you wish)
So i really love this guy. We are young, he’s 18, I just turned 20. We have been together since i was 16 and he was 15. (i just turned 20 in july, we are only about 1.5 years apart in age) We started talking in September 2014, we started dating January 2015 my dad passed away suddenly May 2015. he was there for everything and as a 15 year old it’s a lot to take on. My dad was my everything but i quickly learned that i needed to step up. So i got a job, then i got two. i was working two jobs at once. when he turned 16 (January 2016) i got him his first job i helped him get his permit, his license, get him a car, paid $600 for repairs and such so he could get it running and legally inspected. i was taking care of him a lot. he had a fucked up home life, living with his grandparents, a sister, and a brother and a mother who would come in and out of the house all whacked out on pills they didn’t have much money but made due with what they could. i felt like i was taking care of him as them. constantly trying to treat him as best as i could. i worked at panera and would always bring left over bread, bagels, pastries and such to his house. i would buy him nice things, take his brother and sister school shopping, remember i’m 16/17 and they have grandparents who don’t really care about them. his sister would smoke weed with his grandmother so it’s all sorts of fucked up and she was at the time 13. he got fired from the job i got him after a customer turned in a wallet containing $200 cash and he took the cash and said he hadn’t seen the wallet and they saw it all on camera. he took it because he wanted to pay me back for helping him with his car (i had no idea he did that or planned to, men 🙄) so whatever he gets another job at a vape shop. every time he earns money he always goes and spends it on himself. looking back now i understand he was a teenager and that’s what teenage guys do but in the meantime i was here paying for us to go out to dinner 3x a week usually spending $50-$100 each time. i was making $20 an hour under the table but that doesn’t matter because i was always putting all my money towards him. i would even go out and buy groceries for his house just so i knew he was eating because as previously stated his family doesn’t really care about him. i’m so loving and have the biggest heart i would cook them all dinner a few times a week (steak, lobster tails, tacos, chicken, etc. it’s not cheap to feed a family of 5) so fast forward he lost his job at the vape shop and i was sick and tired of constantly taking care of him and myself plus his family, i had bills to worry about (phone, car insurance, and helping pay for things at home, i lived with my grandmother) i broke up with him at the age of 19. after taking care of him for 3 years i was fed up. we saw different people and during that time i still cared a lot about him and helped him get a job (while he was with her!) his drug addict mother got money from the death of her father about 5 years ago ($240k) and bought him a new truck, gave his gf $1,000 towards a used car, bought her nice clothes and shit and here i am working my ass off still to take care of myself. i didn’t get a dime of the money not that i was entitled to it but he had only been seen the girl about 3 months and i put in 3 years of my hard earned money. so whatever they break up and we decide to try again. he still has the job i got him and suddenly doesn’t like it (stops showing up and that’s the end of that) so i’m taking care of him again, we argue about it and he gets a new job landscaping. he decided after 3 weeks he doesn’t like that and quits there. meantime i’m an adult now (20) so i’m doing his wash, cleaning his room, cleaning the house his family lives in, still taking care of his brother and sister (who’s still smokes weed all the time) and i just feel it’s unfair. like i really love him but it’s not my responsibility to take care of him and his family. i want to be able to get an apartment soon and how are we supposed to do that if he can’t even keep a job or pick up after himself. he always tells me it’s going to change and he did start doing stuff the last two weeks picking up after himself, did some wash, cooked me dinner for the first time ever but how can i even do this anymore. i don’t know i guess i answered my own question but i feel really bad for leaving his life, coming back to what i thought was going to be something different, and surprise things haven’t changed and now i’m leaving again.
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