I used to never believe in "love".. I always felt like marriage would always be more of a "you're the human being I tolerate the most" kind of deal and you work hard to keep the friendship that was between you both. I never believed in "love" because I'd seen so many people "fall out of love" or hurt the people they claim to be "in love" with.. how could you do such things when you say "I love you" to someone? Then I only proved my own point when after I finally entered my first serious relationship, he cheated on me.. hurt me mentally and physically.. I got out. Swore I'd never let my guard down again. I dated a little. Was screwed over in different ways by many of them. Others ended for other reasons, school work family moving just minor stuff.. but i Never let my heart get too close.. then I met my fiance.. he was wonderful.. stuck by me despite being distant.. blah etc got engaged.. then it all came crashing down in front of me today.. a girl was kind enough to message me with the truth.. screenshot of him messaging her. Her first response was "um dont you have a fiance.." he even said yes... she sent me pictures right after and said she knew she didn't know me but after leaving a husband that did that shit to her she wasn't going to let it happen to someone else.. now my world is crashing down.. I took off my ring. He can have it back. I don't want it.. it makes me sick to my stomach.. I hate him. I hate him for making me feel this way. I am disappointed in myself that I let myself get so close.. I knew better.. I'm done.. I pray other women have their happily ever afters but for me? I'm just done.. I didn't believe in love before and life was much easier.. it's safe to say I'm happily back to that.. love doesn't fucking exist.. not for me..

Thanks for letting me vent..