Too scared to test again?

Anyone ever felt that way no one wants too see a BFN. I always get my hopes down I'm tired of peeing in cups tired of having sex I'm tired of waiting. I took a pregnancy test last Sunday and it looked like this very faint. 3 days later I tested with digital and got not pregnant. If I test with FRER I'm gonna test again in 2 or 3 daysand it comes out negative does that mean I'm not pregnant for sure sure or test again with first response? I'm just nervous but yet so anxious😔