Your love was conditional.

“Don’t do that. Don’t go there. Don’t cry.”

The first time you broke my heart I left. I left and I found someone better and I loved him and I gave him the parts of me that you found ugly. But he must have thought that those parts were ugly too. And so I came back. And over and over I let you break my heart.

“Don’t wear that. Don’t eat that. Don’t talk to him. Don’t cry.”

The second time you broke my heart, I apologized. I swore I would be a better girlfriend. More loving, more lenient. That I would do whatever you tell me, forever. I made myself less so that you would love me more.

“Don’t see your family. Don’t see your friends. Don’t cry.”

Your favorite promise to make was, “if you won’t fuck me I’ll find someone who will”.

Your favorite thing to do was find someone else anyway.

“Don’t tell anyone. Don’t show anyone. Don’t cry.”

don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry

But I cried. And I left. And a year later I cry less, but the tears are not gone.

My love was unconditional, but it was never meant for a boy who would make me cry.