I just got married a month and a half ago. I should be feeling all lovey dovey and newlywed. Instead I feel unbelievably lonely. When I got engaged I was so sure I should become even closer with my bridesmaids and my fiance. Instead the whole experience made feel like my bridesmaids (who have been my besties for 10+ years) have never actually cared about me. They half assed my shower at the last minute, I had to plan my own bachelerette party, etc. even though I bent over backwards trying to make them happy. My fiance (now husband) tried to understand but he really didn't understand how I was feeling. Now I'm married and upon reflection realize I'm always the one to plan girls nights and invite people over and start convos. In our group chat there are always a bunch of messages from me chatting and making jokes and asking about their lives and then one word replies from half of them and the other half leave me on read. We never fought over anything and I tried hard not to be wedding obsessed or bridezilla all my vendors said I was the most laid back relaxed bride they've had and they loved it so I think I succeeded in that respect so I am so so confused. Plus on my husbands end I am always the one to plan dates, he never does anything romantic to surprise me and we never talk about anything deep or meaningful anymore even though i try. I talked to him about it but he made excuses. Idk if it's because he's super comfy now so he doesnt feel obligated or what. I just feel myself slipping into depression and no one even notices. I told my husband and he just gave me platitudes. And i am really distant from my family because they are toxic.. Today i caught myself thinking no one would even notice or care if i were gone except maybe my two cats. I am in desperate need of a friend, someone who actually cares about me and my life and whenever i try to make friends im too weird or not cool enough and they brush me off, even when we have lots in common. I am at my wits end. Is there a site like tinder for just platonic friends, lonely people like me? What am I doing wrong??? I wish I knew how or why I alienated my bridesmaids but I feel like bringing it up would just create drama and push them away further...