Hello,

First of all, I am so glad I found this group. I have been dealing with some stuff and I needed to find a Christian group where they would understand my situation. (Sorry for the super long post)

So this is what's going on, my husband and I have been married for almost 3 years and we have a beautiful 15 month old and now we are expecting number 2. Our relationship is great we put God before us and try to do everything the God way. My husband and I have been devoured Christian's for about 5 years. I am a late PK so my family has been Christian for the second part of my life so I know what it is to be Christian and non Christian. Sorry for being such a long post. So here it is, my husband's family is not Christian, they are "Catholic" and I'm saying it like this because they never go to church or practice it, they are good people in the sense that they are generous with their friends and they are always trying to help friends. But as family it's a different story, they have always put friends over family. all my husband's life he has experienced this. His parents are people who dont have maternal/paternal instincts. My husband was raised by his grandmother, his parents had him as part of what you have to do, they got married because they had no one else, they had a baby because that's the next thing. My husband has seen now that he is a father how bad things were and are still with his parents but he is Christian now and believes in honoring your parents. He says that if he wasnt Christian he would never see his parents at all. He is the one that tries to call them and tries to visit then once a week with me and our son. And they feel so entitled, they feel that just because we had a baby that this baby has to love them without even earning the baby's love. They dont see the baby, they dont ask about the baby, nothing. They only talk about the baby to other people (and made up information) to their friends so they can say aww grandparents. So my question is how much of the "5th commandment" and "you shall leave your father and your mother and become 1 with your wife" should be applied? His mother is very disrespectful towards me and yelled at me in my own house nobody paid attention to her because its like her to ruin family moments. I have never told my husband to abandon his parents, but do my son and I have to put up with their disrespectful ways? How much should we have to put up with? Every time we visit them my husband and I fight because they just dont know how to treat our baby. They want everything forced and their way. And they love to play the victim. To my children I will always say good things about their grandparents I will never talk bad about them, they are hard working people and very helpful. And that's what I will always say about them. But I'm not going to force my children to love someone who's never there. I will make sure they respect their grandparents, that's for sure.

So sorry for the long post. I guess I also needed to vent.

UPDATE:

Thank you for reading that long post and answering. I dont want to cut them off from our lives and I'm not being judgemental it just hurts me to see how they dont care about my son. As a mother it just hurts me. I never force my husband to cut them off, I just wanted to know how those two things (honor and be one with wife) can be applied without affecting each other?

I am sorry I sounded judgmental I guess that's how it came out when I was venting and I'm feeling so frustrated seeing how they treat us bad because we dont leave our baby with them just so they can tell people that the baby stayed at their house but they dont know how to take care of a baby. One time we were in the kitchen and my husband's father was with the baby in the living room I hear my baby shocking and I go to the living room and my husband's father is not looking at the baby and my babys face is blue and no sound coming out of him. I ran to my baby to help him breathe and my husband told his dad to be more careful to look what just happened and his answer was well I bet he gets more injured with you. Not even apologize.

I know I'm venting again. But seeing my babys face blue and they dont even realize what they did, just doesnt make me feel safe to have my baby around them.