I want to start off by saying this may be an incredibly long post.. however I’d like some mom advice and support.

My ex husband and I share 2 daughters and I’m happily re married with a son. My new husband is an incredible father and I couldn’t be happier. My ex husband and I have never really gotten along we got married super young. Well when I took him to court back in 2015, for divorce and custody etc he decided he didn’t want to show up. He always has the most perfect excuse for why he can or can not do things. Anyways I was granted full legal and physical custody of both girls and there was no visitation order put in place because he wasn’t there. Well flash forward 3 years, the girls stay with me most of the week and with him Friday-Sunday every other weekend. Which most of the time he couldn’t be bothered to pick them up because he had to “work” or he didn’t feel well. He’s never really kept a steady job but was paying $160 in child support a week so he thought he was entitled to time with the girls. Over the past 2 months things have been getting progressively worse, the girls would come home saying things like “dad slept all day and didn’t feed us” or “dad told us he hates having children because we spilt milk in the car”, and I would address these things with him immediately which of course he argued with me about and telling me the kids are lying etc. so the last weekend I let him see them my daughter comes home (she’s 9) and says “did you get a text from me at 3am because dad woke us up to go to a hotel” she has a watch that can call text and has gps on it. It’s really wonderful but anyways I freaked out they were both crying when they told me my 9 yo has anxiety just thinking about having to go over there again. So no one had heard from him in 2 weeks and come to find out he tried to commit suicide and was apparently smoking crack!!! Crack? Really?? Like what the fuck?!? I was just flabbergasted and incredibly hurt for my girls. So I haven’t been allowing him to see the girls for maybe about a month but told him he could call and FaceTime to re establish a relationship with them. Of course they know nothing about what’s going on. He doesn’t call for weeks at a time and when he does call he makes them feel guilty for not calling him or lying and saying he’s been calling yada yada yada. He’s blaming me for his misfortunes and bad decisions and I’m just this huge bitch I’m just concerned for my girls and their safety. There’s so much more I could ramble on about and no I’m absolutely not perfect but I’m a good mother and they have everything they want and need when they’re with me and their step father.

Oh and by the way it was my responsibility to send food, clothes and money when he kept them because he said he pays child support for them.

Now he’s saying he and I are on the same level, we’re doing the same amount for the kids. It’s not true it’s never been true.

Again I could ramble on about multiple issues I’ve had with him but for some reason he always knows I’ll be there to pick up the pieces for my girls and treat them right. I just hope I’m not the only mom going through this, I have so much anxiety because I know I’m doing the right thing I just feel horrible for my kids that he can’t be the father they deserve.