Mixed Feelings.


I have 2 kids. 9&11. Had 2 abortions after i had my youngest. We’ve been trying to have a baby for a year now. I had a miscarriage in April. Now i took a test because my period is 20 days late. It was positive. Went to a clinic and they did another test came back positive. Faint line but visible. Today i had an u/s appt. nothing was seen. Not even with the vaginal u/s. Im confused. Scared. Am I pregnant or not. Am I in early menopause? . I have an appt with my doctor on Tuesday. Seems so far away. What is wrong with me? Is this God punishing me for the 2 abortions? I just want a baby. Btw im 28.