My cousin took his life...RIP

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Ive been trying every year trying to stop thinking about my family. But everything has been killing me lately. My brother was held at gunpoint when he tried to escape his terrible crime, My auntie that helped me with my dyslexia at a young age passed away not so long ago, My cousins had a gun fight and one of them killed himself right infront of me at my grandma's house on her funeral day.

I’ve been dealing with the police coming to my house searching since I was 5yrs old... At about 8 or 9yrs old I started having anger issues. I hated myself because everyday, my brother will tell me to my face that I was worthless, nothing, and a mistake. My mom was talking behind my back about she should had gotten a abortion...

I don’t like talking about this to my school counselors because when I was in the 5th grade my teacher said She’s going to be exactly like her brother... I go to the gym to let out my anger, but today we were talking about school shootings in are free time... that reminded me of my cousin taking his life and I had a straight up mental breakdown right in the middle of it...

One of my best friends was the only person to ask me that if I was ok and he hugged me told me that anytime I need him I can just call him... Im glad enough to have support like that from him...