My husband triggered me today

Today is the anniversary of my kidnap and rape. I woke up to him doing something very triggering to me, so I just cried for hours. I couldn’t go to work, I couldn’t take the dog out for his usual walk. I couldn’t function.

So when he got home he picked me up off the bed and took me to my car. He sat me in it, put my favorite music on, and said “wait here for a minute.”

I waited like half an hour (time stays still when you’re in an episode though so It could have been longer) and he comes back into the garage and says “come upstairs with me”. I was like “no we’re not having sex, I can’t I’m sorry” and he tells me he’s not going to try and have sex with me, it’s just a little surprise. I open the garage door to just flowers in a trail on the floor. I followed them up to our bedroom and into our bathroom where he had prepared an amazing bath for me. Even bought a pillow so I could lay my head back. He helps me undress, the whole time asking if he can put his hands on my shirt, if he can pull it off, letting me know it’s going to go over my head, etc. I get in the bath and he puts in a bath bomb so gentle so the sound doesn’t scare me.

It’s strawberry. I don’t know what it is with strawberries but the smell and taste is so comforting to me. He’s like enjoy that for a minute and he’ll be right back. So I wait and he comes upstairs with a PLATE of chocolate covered strawberries and my most favorite drink ever. A strawberry rockstar.

He’s like one more time I’ll be right back. I enjoy my snacks and my drink, and my warm bath and he comes back with a pink robe. It’s the fluffiest dang thing I ever did see. He hangs it on the door and is like “when you’re done I’ve got one more thing for you.”

So I enjoy this bath for like ever. Just adding hot water every now and then and reading my book. I put on the robe and walk downstairs.

Boy has Grey’s Anatomy on for me and is like “watch this k one more time I’ll be right back.” And heads out the door.

Comes back with my most favorite food everrrrrr: Taco Bell. So I start doing the dance that girls do when they food comes right and he kneels in front of me and has this whole speech about how he’s never met someone so strong and how he admires me. I’m just boobing the whole freaking time. Then he cuddles up with me and watches my show with me and ran his fingers through my hair (always gotta beg for that).

Like, I’ve come so far in four years and I’m just bawling writing this while the KING of my DREAMS sleeps next to me.

Ladies don’t settle. Find someone who rights their wrongs and is sensitive to your situation, whatever that may be. I’m so happy to be here with this sweet man.

❤️