I’ve been depressed all my life but I’ve never been this low. I’ve got ppd, borderline personality disorder, I’m on birth control pills that fuck with my emotions. I’m lonely. I hate my body, more than I’ve ever hated it before and I don’t think i’ll ever get rid of the sag. I’ve lost all my friends, i have no social life. I never leave the house. My boyfriend goes to school all day and i stay home with the baby. I live in a tiny town with no way to make friends, and the only place I could “go out” with my baby too is a park that’s riddled with teenagers smoking weed. I’ve gotten fat, and I’ve never had acne this bad. I can’t even face myself in a mirror anymore. I don’t fit in any of my clothes and can’t afford new ones. People I used to be friends with say things like “we should hang out soon!” But always find excuses to not make it happen. My boyfriend tries his best but he has school and hockey and friends and he doesn’t understand how lonely I feel. My own mom just moved like 5 hours away...I love my son more than anything and he’s the reason i’ll never give up or do anything drastic and the only Ray of sunshine in my gloomy world but I don’t know how to focus on him completely and force myself out of this dark hole. My doctor’s advice was to “go out and make friends” or “find a hobby”....I’m just at a loss...I just need people, I need to leave the house sometimes...I need to not be alone and ugly and tired and unwanted