Am I now the victim?

Who are we?

I'm 31 he is 43. We both met working at a mental health group home almost two years ago. I've worked with victims of sexual assault and domestic violence. He was in the army and currently still in school.

MY ISSUE WITH BF

So my bf and i have been dating a little over a year. We met at work and one night while he was my shift relief. Im not sure why but, he stuck around and we got to talking. Shared stuff co workers normally wouldn't. Anyway, fast forward to our one year anniversary. I made dinner and we both had a cocktail on this night he gave me a promise ring which i love dearly. Due to him being intoxicated and our neighbor coming over to hang he was more open. He talked about how his dad use to beat his mom when he was growing up and how he had never laid his hands on me. Well this changed about two weeks later; we were both downstairs and i was sitting on the couch with my legs over the arm of it. He sat next to me and at first we were playing around but, i got loud (naturally a loud talker). Well he thought i was yelling at him and slapped my face. I legit was in shock got upset and tried to get up as he held me. I know in the moment he didn't realize how upset I was. It caused tension between us for the following days. Anyway, on September 7 we went on our first semi out of the country vacation for one week. While we were there visiting my grandpa in PR having a grand ole time i thought wow this trip is bringing us closer. Wrong we got into a fight which he eventually said sorry for. Then our last full day there we went to the beach and decided to rent snorkel gear. Initially he is not a strong swimmer but because the waves were intense we both got a life vest. Snorkeling didn't work out as his mask wasnt comfortable for him. I went in the water and when i came out decided i was done as i freaked out in fear of almost drowning. Anyway, i tokm my gear off including life vest amd he did to except his vest. Well i went and unbuckled it amd he slapped my hand. I brushed it off but then on the plane as we landednin out state i was going to grab my headphones from the arm rest jack and put his seat up as the flight attendant was requesting everyone do for landing and what he do. Slapped my hand again. We argued about it near baggage claim as he thought it was no big deal yelled at me to not assume he needed help with doing things. I know a slap on the hand is no big deal and maybe cause we were both beyond exhausted it seriously bugged me to where i told him to act like things are good or find another way home as my aunt picked us up. After we got mt car and were driving in silence to my mom house he apologized to me. Ive learned After his apologies he expects the topic not be brought up again.

MY CONFUSION

My confusion is underlying the fact that if i was talking to a client i would encourage him/her to leave as sorrys mean nothing in repetitive situations. Granted the hand slaps were petty he still put his hands on me again. I opened up about all of this to a close friend that disclose his feelings for me. My friend told me i need to leave before it gets worse. My fear is that ot may as most DV cases do. Moreso since we have weapons in our apartment. How do i know he won't flip one day and use one? I don't know. I know most DV clients i worked with say they love the man which is why they stay. So is this my reason? Idk as i know i REALLY do love him. I'm just confused as I feel my friend is worried yet trying to get me to leave my bf to be with him.

Please don't judge me or say harsh things I'm simply reaching out for advice.

Thanks