Hi all. I'm currently estranged from my husband, E. We will be getting a divorce in the next six months. I now live in another province, having officially left E in June after trying to fix the failing marriage for close to two years. I live with J, the love of my life, whom I reconnected with earlier this year. We used to work together 12 years ago, prior to my marriage. J and I are 12w2d. This is my first pregnancy.

My first obgyn appointment is on October 10th. I imagine the first ultrasound will be sometime in the following three to four weeks. J and I plan to announce to friends with a Facebook post with the ultrasound pic (our families already know). E and I text but only when necessary. The one time we spoke on the phone he was vitriolic.

My mom feels E should be told, my sister feels if he can't manage civil conversation and we haven't really spoken in three months that I needn't worry as it's not his baby anyway. My brother wisely observed that there's no good way for him to find out. Should I contact E ahead of time? Phone, email, text? Should I not worry overmuch as he's not a part of my life now and the baby doesn't concern him (this is J's opinion). This is causing me a lot of anxiety on top of hormones because I keep getting asked about it and I'd love some advice on how to handle it.