I feel like I have really no one to talk to, to understand what I’m going through. Me and my husband are trying for a baby. I can off birth control on July 8th and I got obsessed with getting pregnant that month but when it didn’t happened I calmed down and just decided it will happen when it’s suppose to happen. So now we are going on 2 full months of no BC I was on a high dose of 250mg because of what the drop shot did to me. I only did that for 2 rounds and then I was done.

I’ve been trying to be really positive about this whole thing like it will happen when it happens. And saying not everyone gets pregnant in the first 3 months. Blah blah blah... but then last night my husband very Caringly said “ you know if we have to adopt they are still our kids. Just not our blood.” And although that came from a sweet place from him, it made me a little sad.

I realized I’d at least want one that was ours. I always said I wanted 2 and then adopt the 3rd. But what came out of my mouth was I at least want one of my own. I want to experience pregnancy, I want to feel my baby move in my belly, I’ll even take the morning sickness if that means I’ll have my own and it’s healthy. I just don’t want to hear that “we can adopt.” Yes we can but I want my own. I feel like I’m failing as a woman and a wife if I’m not able to give him kids. And I guess I feel a little bit depressed about it. 😔