Evening all!

So a I haven’t been on glow for a while because I started to get really upset with myself for being jealous of people’s success stories!! I am so happy for you all!! And I wish you all a happy and healthy 9 months!!

Sorry this is a really long post,

But here is a little back ground on me, so me and my now husband have been trying for a baby for over a year I am only 22 (nearly 23) and he is 28 I want a baby so badly it hurts, well when we wasn’t getting pregnant I went to the doctors and they said just give it time your young and all that, anyways fast forward a couple months later (April 2018) I woke up getting ready for work and I feel this almighty pain in my left side in bearable that I couldn’t talk, stand or anything getting myself in a state, call a ambulance and get rushed into a&e to find out that I had a burst ovarian cyst that was 6/9 cm with fluid, they put me on a drip with strong painkillers stayed in overnight and got discharged the next afternoon and was told the cyst should come away with my next period (it never did) and to follow up at the doctors in a couple of weeks, so that I did, was sent for MULTIPLE blood test and scans to try and find out what’s happening. 2 days later I got my blood test results back and said that I’m not ovulating and that I have multiple cysts on my tubes which is causing a blockage and that’s why I’m not getting pregnant, so I have been referred to a gynaecologist for the next step but the doctor said to me that I am more than likely going to have to get some help in getting pregnant I.e <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>, I have my gynaecologist appointment on the 18th of October to see what the next step is.

I feel that my husband doesn’t really know what to say to me, he just hugs me and says that everything is going to be ok, but is it? I lay in bed crying my eyes out most nights because i just feel like why me?? What I have I done so bad in my life that I deserve this. I am so disheartened, upset and gutted in fact I feel every emotion a women could feel at the same time. It’s even got that bad that I ask myself why am I here!! The one thing a my body is meant to be able to do and I can’t, I have tried home treatments, folic acid, positions laying with my legs in the air bum propped up, losing weight!! I just don’t know how much more I can take of this!! What if my husband leaves me because of it!! I am genuinely so scared and upset that we will never get our happy ever after!

I don’t really know what I am expecting from this post and I hope maybe someone feels or knows what I am going through! 😔😪