I just need to say this in a place where people won’t treat me any certain kind of way or expect me to get over it faster.

Last month I knew I was pregnant. Faint little lines were just the confirmation. I knew when I got that super power for smelling any little thing. I knew when the smell of beef made my stomach roll over because I’m a girl who loves a good steak. I knew when I was holding back nausea most days.

Then when those signs started to fade and my lines weren’t getting darker, I knew little embryo wasn’t going to stay.

We hadn’t announced. We hadn’t even gotten too excited since we were waiting on the BFP on a digital test.

So BFP never came and AF came a week past her due date. So maybe miscarriage isn’t the right word. Maybe “chemical pregnancy” is the term we use. Whatever term is appropriate, I miss that little embryo and the little signs they were sending that they were here.

I resent my stressful boss and their expectations and their bullying. I blame work for the stress and the stress for the loss and I just miss little embryo. 😢