Recently I discovered I am probably pregnant, but I'm getting mixed home test results and go tomorrow to get checked. My mother was visiting and I made the mistake of mentioning it.

My mother barely sees my son now because, one, she abused/neglected me as a kid myself and, two, she can't follow my rules when she occasionally did see my son. Before you freak out, she didn't often hit me as a kid aside from spankings with objects like fly swatters, belts and wooden paddles. There was only a couple physical attacks in the 18 years I was there. Which was seen as normal at the time. It was mostly verbal. Screaming, threats, public humiliation. She states she remembers none of that after she got heavy into church stuff when I was about 19 and was moved out.

Anyway, with my other nieces and nephews (8 of them) I am happy to report she has no crimes against her except for the occasional spanking with her hands only and frankly when it's a fair call in my opinion. Example: my nephew stole something, got a spanking and had to give it back. My sister told me this. She also never yells and often surprises me with her random acts of basic human kindness that I never saw growing up.

It's been many years and occasionally I let her drop by and see Matty, my son (nickname). Maybe she has changed. But we've always lived so far away that it wasn't a normal event to see her and my kid barely reacts to her now. However, during the times I let her watch him she loved to chime in with her religious ideals and conservative notions then push him to believe them and pretty much mentally shit on other views.

As you can imagen I was not impressed when this kept happening. We are a mixed family and don't have a set stance in politics but rather what is the right thing to do... The things a kid should grasp before introducing who is the better president and why. Stuff like that (mom is a huge Trump supporter btw).

I got annoyed, warned her, she blew it. She stopped baby sitting after that. I didn't have time for that crap.

Now she is begging me to let her babysit sometimes. I don't know how to feel about it. I still have the nanny cams I can use but she knows I have them now. Granted this would be a rare thing because we move far away so much. Still, telling our child that his other mother, who's Pagan, is wrong...Yeah. I didn't appreciate that. Who knows what stuck in his head and that's my baby! I did not want him questioning that! Who knows what else she said? She hides behind her religion to justify it too. That is exactly the kind of asshole I don't want my kid around!

So idk what to do. The obvious answer is tell her she couldn't behave the first time so why trust her now? But when that crap wasn't happening she did spoil my son and was an awesome grandma. So part of me wants to talk to her about what she did wrong again and ask her if she's grown enough to not do that again. Ever. It's been years. Maybe she'll be more respectful.

Any advise is apprecated. Thanks for reading.