Im posting anonymously because I am just too embarrassed. I’ve been married for 11 years, and with my husband for a total of 15 years. I met him my freshman year of college. I thought we had the typical lives...bills, disagreements and balancing work/life.

Long story short, he has been cheating on me for the last 4 years, multiple times, due to HIS own unhappiness. He says he wasn’t fulfilled because he hasn’t been able to accomplish anything in his life on his own, and that we married too young (I was 23 and he was 24). He admitted that he failed to communicate woth me how he was feeling, despite my efforts to connect and listen.

In May he moved in with family members temporarily because he said that due to his infidelity he was in a bad mindset and needed time to get himself together....and he was doing well...reading, eliminating social media, focused on bettering himself as a father and husband...and ultimately coming home.....but just a few weeks ago he said he couldn’t do it anymore and just this week, he moved into his own place.

He says he needs his own space and time. That he loves me, but doesn’t feel in love with me. He assured me that it was not my fault, I was a good wife and friend, but that he made a lot of mistakes on our relationship. He’s never lived on his own, or got to live the ‘bachelor life’. I have been the primary breadwinner most of our relationship, and have always been the financially responsible one.

The problem is that we have a 9 year old son, and I’m currently 3 months pregnant. (Pregnancy was not planned...we were ‘working’ on our relationship at one point). Right now he is excited about the baby, but he says he doesn’t want to be married because he doesn’t think he can be the husband I deserve and because he needs to find out what he wants. Since he has moved out he barely helps with our son, and has provided no assistance in paying our bills or childcare....I am left to pay everything by myself.

He says he does love me, and does care...and that he left so that he could prevent causing any more pain or damage. By wanting his own space, he is also open to the idea of dating other people, which is devastating. I feel like that will for sure be the end.

He is a completely different person, and is regressing to the same person he was when we first decided to take a ‘break’...falling into all the same old habits, and being very selfish. He thinks that what he is doing is the right thing to do, and he does not believe that he is wrong or being unfair. He hasnt always been like this....I believe his trigger is that ive been really successful in my career and finances. And that our home we purchased is all in my name. He doesnt feel like as a man he can provide for his family.

I really want and need for my marriage to work. For myself. For my children. For us. I have a very small family, and he was basically my best friend. I haven’t really been a faith based follower, but I’ve been praying now more than ever. Can someone tell please give me a word of encouragement...I feel like I will never recover from this. If you are in a praying mood....can you please say one for me and my family? My son is devastated about his father ‘not coming home’.

Thank you,

DesperateWife2018