I’m 41, trying for my first. I have an amazing husband, 37, who is so supportive. Although I’m glad I waited to get married (at 40) because I found such a wonderful man, I know our chances of conceiving are quite lower due to my age. I also know worrying makes things worse, and I try hard to have a positive attitude, but some days are easier than others.

Today is not an easy day. I woke up excited to test, happy in my anticipation, as opposed to the more common feeling of dread. After staring at that thin, yet glaring, lonely line, I started getting ready for work.

Truthfully, I wanted to stay home. But, here I am.

Isn’t it incredible that a tiny pink line can sink one’s mood so rapidly? Especially when we are so much more than our fertility. I need to remember that today.

Update-After this post, I spent the day at work feeling blue. My lower back was bugging me a bit, but I did not think much about it because I sit in a chair all day at a computer and figured I was sitting with bad posture. Unfortunately, it wasn’t posture as I woke up at 2:30 in the morning on Thursday with terrible back pain. It only got worse and worse until my husband and I had to go to the hospital. There, I had to wait in agony before they could give me anything at all because they wanted to do a pregnancy test just to be sure... so I got to hear twice now that I am not pregnant. I’ve never had a kidney stone before, so I had no idea what was happening. What was especially frustrating was that I’m allergic to anything stronger than ibuprofen 800, so there wasn’t much they could do for the pain anyway. I try to remain positive, but this has been a lousy week.