Update: pregnant, and not sure how to feel..

In the last 3 weeks, everything between me and my partner has turned to crap. Almost everything he's said or done has been a lie recently, im guessing since i started doing night shift, I drive a fair ways to and from work so when I'm not around I'm sleeping or doing housework, so I've trusted him with our financial situation because it's literally his job and my schedule makes things hard but it turns out we are completely broke, he's spent all our money on crap for his car that doesn't even work and weed, apparently, and God knows what else. He's also turned into such a nasty person, he expects me to do everything for him all the time because 'I don't work as hard' (Like??? 🙄) and all these other ridiculous excuses, and he's getting really verbally aggressive, has started refusing to take his mood stabilizers, it's honestly just become a nightmare so obviously I have to leave.

Fine, whatever I can work with that. I'm sad about us, and him, but I've been in a relationship like this before and I'm not keen on finding out what could happen.

Problem is... I'm 4 days late. My boobs are sore and heavy like usual for pre af, but my nipples are more sensitive and I'm having occasional shooting pains up the right side. I'm also having a bubbly cramping sensation just above my pubic bone, with some pinching. I know af could be late due to stress, but I know I'm not imagining these feelings as they have a few times stopped me in my tracks. Plus, knowing my luck in this whole ordeal as if it wouldn't happen right when I decide to stop trying... I'm scared to test but will tomorrow anyway.. I don't know if i really want to know right now though 😥

Any advice or encouragement would be appreciated ❤❤