this might be hella long but i’m sad as shit so bear with me

me and my girlfriend broke up recently after meeting for the first time (she lives 3342km away) and i’ve been sad about it for the past 2 or so weeks. i was ok with it at first since we both agreed we’d keep being friends, talking like we always did, until she started acting weirdly. she started ignoring me at times and i had to beg to get an answer from her, she would randomly start acting bitchy and after an unnecessary argument she’d tell me i started it, talk about me behind my back and leave out everything she did to me, get emotional during the evening, and then the next morning we’d be back at square 1.

now she responds to me in nothing but 1 word sentences, usually shortcuts, and has stopped talking to me completely. i’m in a constant state of anger.

i can’t even tell if i’m starting to move on or if i’m just getting more emotional about it by the day. while she was visiting we made playlists that would bring back memories, we celebrated her birthday and even hung up a love lock with our names written on it. i had all of the cards and drawings she’d ever given me taped to my wall, and taking them down was one of the most painful things id done. as i’m writing this i am physically crying because i know that i don’t mean anything to her anymore. she always told me she would never be able to replace because there was “no one like me” but 1 week after we broke up she’s already catching feelings for a friend of us both. i don’t even know what she sees in him - he makes fun of her for having small boobs and calls her a f*ggot.

my point is that i’ve been trying for 2 weeks now to find a way to process the whole thing, but nothing seems to work. hearing her name gets me absolutely revolted and seeing things she gave me makes me wants to knock them off whatever they’re on. she’s replaced me completely. she tells her friends things she stopped telling me months ago. she got out of a relationship while i lost my whole future.

i’m not looking for attention or anything, i only wanted to get this out. it’s been a really difficult time. thank you