Pregnant suffering with vaginismus... advice please.

I am 28 weeks.

I have known for years I suffer with this but left it undiagnosed as my and my partner have managed to deal with it together.

We lived in Australia for a year and it was diagnosed there but I have nothing on my records here.

I take a long time to warm up to sex and need to be prepared and comfortable with where I am, lighting and know what’s coming. I have to try and relax for a long time before.

I cannot have hands anywhere near me or I panic, even if my partner puts his hand on the top of my leg I will freak if I don’t know it’s coming. I have panic attack’s.

I have had a few painful experiences which has really scared me.

I still have not mentioned to the midwife but feel

I need to as the idea of being examined makes me terrified.

I am not scared to push out a baby but really beyond panicking about the thought of hands near me.

I get so upset and embarrassed to talk about it and I just don’t know how to bring it up and I am shy anyway.