I think it's tough with this because sexual situations do escalate, like you said. My first thought is, make sure this is something YOU want, and not just something you feel you need to do to be a good girlfriend. If you're conflicted about whether it's something you really want for yourself, you will probably feel more anxious.

That said, I think if you have a real desire to do things with your boyfriend and he's gentle and patient, I'm sure you can overcome this with time and reassurance.

One thing that really helps me with anxious situations is knowing exactly what to expect. I would take baby steps and literally plan out how far to go or what to do each time. If making out is okay, get comfortable with that. Then talk about going a step further, maybe make out with your shirt off, or let him squeeze your boobs through your clothes, something like that. It might be easier if the focus is on him instead sometimes, like if you don't want to be touched a certain way but you don't mind touching him instead. Just do one new thing at a time, and repeat until it feels safe.

You can always stop everything, you can always go back to just kissing, you can always try again when you feel up to it. You can be the one to initiate new things if that makes it easier. You will be most likely to succeed if it's on your terms and if you feel safe.

It sounds like you have a good guy so don't get discouraged! Don't be afraid to voice your fears and ask to try something different. The right one will not push anything, he'll let you be in control of what you want, and he'll love you through it all regardless. Don't ever feel ashamed, needy, or obligated to let anyone use your body without your full consent. You deserve to experience things in a way that is magical and healing.

Good luck! ♥️

Panic attack during makeout sesh