*** Update ***

Thank you ladies for your responses.

I reached out locally to see if anyone could recommend a counsellor etc who specialised in birth trauma/counselling.

I was given the name of a local lady, who doesn't offer counselling, but does offer a service called 'closing the bones'. It's a postnatal ritual, supposed to nourish & celebrate the new mother & her body.

https://www.closingthebonesmassage.com/about/

The above is a link to the website that explains it better 😊

I'm going this Friday, & I'm hoping it will help me reconnect with my body, & find some closure to my pregnancy.

I'll let you know how it goes 😊

***

How long did it take you to feel okay, or even good about having had an emergency cesarean?

Baby girl is 4 months old, & even though I adore her, & am so glad she's here safe, I still feel like an absolute failure for not being able to have her naturally.

And I'm terrified that having had a ceasarean this time, I'll end up having to have another in the future.

I honestly don't think I could face another ceasarean, I can't take seeing 'failure to progress' in my notes a second time.

I hate that we'll have to be monitored constantly, that we have to go to the consultant unit again, that another pregnancy will end with medical intervention & again I'll have had no part in my babies delivery.

I know some women loved their cesareans... How do you get to that feeling? How do you not feel like a failure? How do you come to terms with having had no control or involvement in your babies delivery?

I don't personally know anyone whose had a ceasarean & feels about it the way I do.

I don't know how to get past this...