Am I being mean?

Question

So we have a little boy and his middle name is my dads name... we just found out we were expecting boy number 2 and my hubby mentioned  using his dads name for the middle name but I don’t want to... here are my reasons 1) his dad is kind of an ass. 2) never asks about his grandkids 3) his family tolerates me but we don’t exactly get along 4) my sil used it as the middle name for her boy 5) my sons will carry his last name for the rest of their lives and get to pass it down to their kids... So all of that being said I want to use my grandpas name as the middle name. Am I being mean by using my side for middle names for the boys?

Answer

I say the main reason would be that it’s already used by another family member.

Answer

nope..... I just had this conversation. they get the last name... I want a part of my family in there too.

Answer

Perfectly reasonable

Answer

I don’t think that’s unreasonable at all! My husband and I have an agreement that I get to pick all future kids middle names! They get his last name (which is also his family’s last name) and nothing from my side of the family, so middle names are for me to honour my side of the family ☺️

Answer

I think if your husband wants to use it it's worth a conversation with him about it. You got to use your dad's name for your first, maybe this is something important to him, maybe he doesn't actually care that much and was just throwing it out as an idea. This baby is both of yours and you should both get a say in how he's named. Maybe you could compromise and do two middle names.

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I think all your points are valid! Go with your grandpas name

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Eh, I wouldn't use the name just because someone else in the family already used it. But the other reasons are overkill. Nooope.

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I guess I’m the odd-man out because regardless about how you feel about his dad and his family, it’s still his dad and his family so to just dismiss it and want to use a name from your family again seems a little immature. Is there a name from his family aside from his dad’s he may want to use before just jumping back to your family? Probably worth having a conversation about

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Will agree his name is already being used by another.

Answer

Heck no! You’re not being mean! Your husband already got to honor his family! It’s your turn...also, it doesn’t exactly sound like  the kiddos are that important to your fil...

Am I being mean?

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