Long post....and all over the place.....sorry i just need to vent : My son is 5 weeks old and I have been getting worse as the weeks pass.... I'm emotional and depressed, I get angry and anxious. I'm stressed to the max. I don't feel loved by my husband. He is supportive most of the time but I push him to the brink with my insecurity. I'm constantly getting angry at him... getting jealous and accusing him of being with someone even when I know it's just my insecurity. This morning I went through his phone and found porn on his Web history.... I tried not to get upset but when he woke up he showed me a picture of an ass shaped cake and said he wanted one like that for his birthday and I flipped... 😒 😩 I started on at him about how its just like the porn he watches... I honestly feel disrespected that he watches porn... I know he would be upset if I watched porn...

I need help... I need support. I'm scared to get on meds or get diagnosed with a mental illness because I am a criminal justice graduate and I want to get into law enforcement but idk if I can if I'm mentally unstable. All of this just makes my anxiety worse..... ugh .