I am the “sidechick”... help *VERY LONG* update! 😘

Before everyone judges me my life is already a hot mess so just keep it to yourself.... also the dick was magical 🤷🏼‍♀️ anyways, I knew this guy for maybe about 2 years but we were just associates basically my friends knew his friends and we would occasionally run into each other. Fast forward, we started “dating” and just getting to know each other more, through text but then we started seeing each other basically everyday and staying on the phone/FaceTime all the time. (A lot of details but I’m just trying to give as much info as possible). During this getting to know each other phase, I randomly looked at an IG picture of his and saw a conversation with a girl commenting asking for his information (he replied). Naturally, I just don’t care about that kind of stuff so I just screenshot it and didn’t pay anymore attention to it. Fast forward a couple months, everything’s good and I randomly decided to go this girls Instagram I don’t know what made me do that but the first thing I see is a picture of them two. (Social media doesn’t define relationships for me so I mostly keep that stuff private unless is super serious) so of course I bring it up to him and he gives me the excuse that supposedly that’s his friends ex and his friend told him to talk to her blah blah (around this time she also found out about me idk how or how she felt about it because I’m not her).... so this all seemed very shady to me so at this point I started to entertain other guys while still talking to him. I didn’t have a bf but he was basically the “side” to the guys I talked to.

Eventually we started talking more and more and rekindled everything. I’m more of a don’t ask don’t tell kinda person so the past is the past and everything in between doesn’t matter to me. Foolish mistake (in retrospect). One day, we were pretty much discussing basically everything (this is through text) and he started telling me how sorry he was and just apologizing. I’m like ok sorry for what? And he tells me that he’s been talking to this girl and they’re basically bf and gf and she’s about to post on his IG. At this point I’m confused asf because this is all news to me after everything and still coming back to each other. Basically like what was the point? How did you have time to get a gf? He claimed he didn’t really like her “like that” and was only dating her for free food because she always bought him stuff (i wasn’t buying him shit) So we basically fought the whole night but idk what it was I kinda forgave him especially since We had been talking and hanging out everyday for about a year at this point and I’m not going to stop talking to someone I like over him having a “girlfriend”.

So we continued to talk and eventually we just came up with code names on when not to text each other because we were with someone else. We would tell each other everything that happened so it really didn’t even feel like he had a gf and I had other people as well. It just kinda how it was but we would always talk throughout the day and link back up at the end of the day. Honestly i didn’t feel the need to make him chose or for me to chose because i was getting what i wanted out of it. Eventually his “gf” found out we were still talking so we stopped hanging out for a while and would only text. I’ve tried to break it off maybe 3 or more times but each time there’s always a reason why we should still talk or he’s gonna tell her “soon” or he’s waiting until after her bday/holiday, etc.

We’ve been text only for maybe a month a now I’m tired of it. He hangs out with his “gf” regularly and we don’t text during that time. He says he’s only with her now because he knows her family and I guess doesn’t want to be mean about it. He tells me I’m more important than his “girlfriend” and that he’ll tell her. We recently got into a fight about it and he gave me his “girlfriends” number like her real number. I feel like it’s been too long to just let it all go (it’s been over a year talking/FWB) and it’s not that I see myself with him long term I’m just tired of there being an extra person in this. On the other hand, I’ve been fine with the arrangement and don’t care to rock the boat. There are obviously feelings/attachment and I just feel like I knew him FIRST and started talking to him first and she knew/KNOWS about me as well and didn’t change her behavior. And She has honestly done things to me that makes me not care about how she feels about the situation so......... help. I’m so close to texting her this morning that we’ve been talking the whole time

Update: he didn’t have a gf when we met and started talking. she came along a couple months afterwards (not that that changes anything) but I wanted to clarify that I didn’t know he had a “girlfriend” until maybe 6+ months after. And talking for 6 months is not weird for me. All my relationships become official after at least 8+ months of talking/dating...

Update 😘😘😘

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