So back in 2010 is where it all began. I had dated this guy for 9 months. We went to kindergarten together and once we hit middle school had a few classes together. We got married in November of 2010. Shortly after I became pregnant with our daughter. She was a bit of a surprise because at first we wanted to get pregnant but then knew we would be in over our heads. Anyways, I had her on Sep. 15, 2011. During the 9 months of me being pregnant I endured the physical, emotional,and mental abuse. I was growing depressed. I no longer wanted to be pregnant. I hated my body. We never had sex. I thought I was never going to be good enough. I thought I loved him but often though, "how can you love someone that is mean like this?" I just thought I did. He pulled a gun on me multiple times, pushed me to the ground, and would throw things at me. He never told me he loved me, never kissed me, and always picked on me to be a bully. IN FRONT OF HIS PARENTS. After I had my daughter it continued. I was choke slammed to the ground, was pinched so hard it would leave large bruises, and had drinking glasses thrown at my head. His parents always dismissed his behavior and blamed it on his head injury from back in 2001(we were 10). I was trapped with no way out. I couldn't visit my family, much less call them. They weren't allowed on the property, either. (We lived on his parents property in our little doublewide.) Him and his family became obsessive and controlling. Mind you, they owned their own business. So, they had money. Yes he was a spoiled rich kid with mommy and daddy's money. Finally 4 months after my beautiful baby girl was born I went out with my mom for lunch. Probably the first time she had seen us since being in the L&D room with me. I told her what was going on and her and my older sister begged me to come home with them. I did. I had enough clothes for my daughter and borrowed my sister's clothes. They were my saving grace.(for the time being.) This was in Jan. 2012. So a day or so went by. I had missed phone calls and text messages from my husband begging me to see his daughter. I let him know that he could come to my sister's residence to see her but not until I laid down the plan with him first when he arrived. He showed up and I met him in the driveway. I told my mom and sister to lock the door behind me to keep my daughter safe until I know his intentions. Needless to say, he was trying to take her and go home. I refused to let him see her until he calmed down. And then it started all over again. He pushed me and because we were on my parents property and away fro. His family we were able to get help. My mom called the cops. My sister called her husband who happened to be on his way home from DPS academy. He got in touch with his friend, also DPS. Who was on shift right down the road patrolling and he came. He was reading his rights while I was yelling not to take him to jail. I regret that decision every day. He filed for divorce just 2 weeks later. I went to court, and it went well for me. We met with a mediator later in 2012. I was on my own with no help from my parents in sight. I was doing it all on my own. While I felt like the adult I needed to be for my daughter, I felt abandoned. I needed my parents. I was barely 21. We fought from January 2012 until December 6, 2012. I finally was bullied into submission of making a deal I would regret for the rest of my life. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, as he had shown to be a better dad than he was husband. I settled for 50/50 custody and had him on child support. We had the craziest schedule. A 2/2/3. It was awful.

Fast forward to october 2014.

I met My 2nd husband. Not knowing then that we would be together shortly. I lost touch with him thanks to my phone breaking. I finally got it fixed. Well January 2015 rolls around and I was doing well for myself. Holding a waitressing job at a fancy restaurant. I got back in touch with him. We talked for 3 months before I mentioned I had a daughter because I wanted to know that he was a good man. Thus far he proved to be such. I mentioned about March 2015 that I had a daughter and he was so confused. I let him know I didn't blame him if he decided to leave. I understood. He told me no he liked me for me and didn't want to go anywhere. I knew in that moment I wanted to marry him. About 2 weeks went by and I finally introduced them. My daughter just adored him from the start. About another 3 months went by and my daughter called him daddy and told him she loved him. I was in awe. She asked me if it was ok for her to do that. In which I let her know that it was up too her. I wasnt going to not let her express her feelings. Things were ok. In the midst of all of these good things. There was my ex being the shallow asshole he was. Trying to be controlling of me through our daughter. We didn't let it phase us. We were cordial with him at pick up and drop offs and he absolutely hated that we were nice. He hated my husband because my daughter mentioned to her bio dad that that was her new daddy and that she loved him. All he'll broke lose and hasn't ended since then.

Fast forward to February 2016.

I found out I was pregnant and in turn it sped us up to getting married sooner than we wanted. My ex husband hated it. He didn't want our daughter in our my wedding so I had to schedule it on a day that I would have my possession of her. So I did. My wedding was beautiful. Simple, but beautiful.

I had finally made the decision to try and get sole custodialship of my daughter. Temp orders were set in Oct 2017 for 50/50 custody(week on/week off), a reduction in child support(like honestly I could care less about his money) and 4 months of enduring this. We get to our final hearing in March this year and the judge ordered everything to stay the same but child support. It was yet again reduced(oh well, no biggie). We were finally done. It was set and over with.

Well, so we thought. I got a letter saying we were going back to court at the end of April. In which I will yet again regret signing off on a deal I wish I would have never made. My husband now, had to do a parenting class, anger management, and a psych evaluation.(there is absolutely nothing wrong with this man.) Except he is prior Navy, honorably discharged. There was no child support being paid and I was so overwhelmed. In June my dad kicked us out, my lawyer quit on me because he couldn't handle this case anymore, i was put on standard visitation, my family hates me and my husband because neither of us had a job after months of looking. Mind you we were lso ttending school. I am in a bind.

Well, we have another temp. Hearing to modify the original temp. Orders set back in April because of the above mentioned circumstances. I hadn't gotten to see my daughter since Mothers Day. I was supposed to have her for vacation during the month of June. None if that happened.

Fast forward to the temp hearing in August. My husband was still ordered to get the psych evaluation done. It was scheduled for the end of June but no one let us know. NO ONE!!!! I am at my wits end and have done everything asked of me. It never ends. The bullying never ends. You know they say once you are in an abusive relationship you will not get out.... IT'S TRUE. Even though I am no longer married to him I am still connected to him through our daughter. Him and his family use her to control me and my husband. I am to the point I want to throw my hands up and just walk away from the whole situation with him, but I refuse to leave my daughter on her own. I. AM. STILL. STUCK. I feel like it won't be until he gets what him and his parents get what they want. MY DAUGHTER AND ME OUT OF HER LIFE, MORE SO MY HUSBAND THAN ME.

It never ends. NEVER.

Our final hearing is this Thursday Oct. 4th and I don't know how to deal with what I know is coming. I can't eat or sleep. I am a nervous wreck and my two babies with my current husband know it. I try to keep it together and stay as positive as possible.