Realized I lost my baby at 14 weeks...😢😢😢😢😢😭😭😭😭😭

So I got my medical bill today and realized that I lost my baby 👶🏾 at 14 weeks 👼🏾😩😢😭 that means I was 2 more weeks away from knowing the sex of my baby before it died and that hurts even more knowing that... I understand I could always try again but you have to also understand how my best friend and her husband and my fiancé and everybody in the house was excited for me, how I had made plans to do a gender reveal so my fiancé could also find out could find out that way how I had idea of clothes I was gonna buy and everything and that all got RUINED bc my African OB/GYN failed to sign some simple paper to have me on lighter duties bc I was still so early in my pregnancy at the time... 🖕🏾🤬🖕🏾🖕🏾🤬🖕🏾🖕🏾🤬🖕🏾🖕🏾🤬🖕🏾🖕🏾🤬🖕🏾🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️😭😭😭😭😭, I mean we will eventually try again but I’m sad and hurt it ended so quickly as it had only JUST BEGUN... 😢😢😢😢😢😭😭😭😭. I guess seeing that just RE-RELEASED bottled up feelings I been hiding since bc now the floodgates have opened back up and this is the reason I started back smoking cigarettes 🚬 to keep re-opening old wounds again...