Confused after moving on.

Kirsten
I've had a miscarriage and ectopic. I have no children to show for it yet. I had a feeling this was my month, but I think that every month. Then I had the symptoms...a weeklong migraine right after ovulation, wicked heartburn, sore breasts, a short temper, heightened sense of smell, and cravings for seafood (tuna sandwiches for lunch and salmon for dinner for days). Then I took a test and got a faint positive. Then I started spotting and then there was red blood and then the frer was negative. I called the doctor, she sent me for labs, and my hcg was at 8.5. I cried, resigned myself to miscarriage again, and then refused to go through the pain of the last two losses, put in a tampon, and went to the pool. Two days after my hcg was at 8.5, my breasts are still sore, so I took my last hpt. It was positive this morning. Now I feel like God is messing with me. Or providing a miracle. Or I'm ectopic again. I don't know, but I needed to vent because I feel like I'm in for an emotional roller coaster. A baby in the lab this morning was crying and I was glad I was reading a book because I started to cry too. Why can't I just be normal? I'm confused, relieved, scared, panicked, hopeful, and afraid of another disappointment all at the same time.