This is LONG and maybe TMI for some?? So I went to use my boyfriends phone to watch some porn cause my phone has used up all my data and I was just trying to go to bed with a smile.. lol but anyways I never use his phone and we don’t have passwords. I started typing in my site and then his previous porn sites popped up so I just got curious and looked. I don’t mind that everyone who is into porn (or not) has shit they’re into and usually people don’t see your private searches but that’s beyond where I am going. I even tried one of his out (didn’t do it for me). But it’s what popped up after that bothered me. My heart first kind of started beating faster when I saw “live cam girls” just because live I feel like makes it a more real experience and more outside of a relationship and into a different realm of “porn” that creeps me out for a taken guy to watch. I quickly learned he didn’t look farther into it after clicking and seeing you had to pay. But I still felt super super weird... so I did it. I checked his history and I found that he had google searched our area code” + sexy gals” I will say we live in a pretty remote area and MOST the girls around here are nasty. I’m not a 10 but around here I certainly am! I clicked it and nothing came up that would satiate the search word for word and he hadn’t clicked any links beyond the search. It was like he wanted sexy Humboldt girls website or something I guess. But before I had thought of that I woke his ass up with my heart beating out of my chest because I felt for the first time I wasn’t enough for him and my heart was starting to break. I’m 11 weeks pregnant tomorrow and we had our 1 year anniversary 4 days before his search. When I first woke him up he acted completely shocked and unaware and said maybe his brother did it. And then just totally made me seem crazy and was so defensive . I told him innocent people don’t act the way you’re acting. I knew it was just gunna take a little time for him to fess up because I have a way with words especially when I am as calm as I was. I wasn’t letting him put anything on me or turn the situation to the whole “my fault” because I busted him type of thing. Toward the first hint of denial I told him “if there is any way were Gunna get passed this and mend this you are gunna need to end up admitting and opening up to me about that search.” It was a search plain as day with no follow through and I wanted to know why he typed it. After a bit of denial he finally said something to the effect of “I don’t remember searching that ..but if I hypothetically did maybe it was to see if there was any kinky stuff online locally or a porn star that lives in the area type of thing” I just basically told him I’m pregnant and watching my

Body and sex drive change and it’s hardand we’ve been fighting A LOT over the last couple of weeks so if he needs to watch some extra porn whatever but that my heart hurt to see an zip code...it was like he needed to calm down , wake up and understand I didn’t wake him up angrily or yell at him at all that I was very calm and just NEEDED to know what was going through his mind with that google search. and after another little while he admitted he typed it and basically said curiosity killed the cat and that he didn’t know he was just typing shit in didn’t followed through with actually trying to find anyone local (which stands proven because his history reflected that he hadn’t gone further as well) and that he was never trying to meet someone , which I do believe because he works construction locally and rides with his boys to work (all married old great men) and his truck I don’t even think would make it over th hill to town if he tried. Other than that he is home with me! I’m so very extra sensitive right now and I guess I just wanna hear what y’all say. I could tell beyond a certain point everything he said was genuine. He said he reacted initially the way he did because he was embarrassed at the bought of me seeing the porn he is into and that he was embarrassed he typed that in and did a stupid useless thing.if you guys knew my man you’d know for him to admit that is huge...and In my heart of hearts I know this boy loves me. Plus he knows I’m too smart to ever even try anything funny especially living where we live. But I am offended at the thought he had to take his naughty mind any further and try to see if there’s any kinky bitches in the hills doing things on cam or whatever .... I know he isn’t cheating on me I’m just still pregnant and butthurt...idk... men are gross.. and I’m sad feeling like I’m not enough anymore