Relationships

While I was in high school I never really wanted a boyfriend because I watched her my friends go through heart breaks and it scared me a little bit so I avoided it by not dating. I ended up meeting this guy after having sex with multiple guys and not taking any of those guys seriously and I didn’t realize how much I actually cared about this guy at first I didn’t take him seriously and it turned out that since I didn’t take him seriously he didn’t take me seriously because when he wanted me I didn’t want him. But then when I wanted him he didn’t want to be with me because he thought I would play with his emotions. I did a lot of fucked up shit and it sucks but now me and him are fucking again and it isn’t the dick it’s not even that bomb. I want to experience a relationship now with him or without him. I want to be taken seriously because I can’t go about life being scared to take chances. I watch people my age Actually getting out there an opening up to people, and I’m just here not knowing what to do or say. My emotions are going wild. I need some real guidance. I’ve been by myself all through high school and now that I’m in college I’m confused. I don’t want to end it with the boy, but if I have to in order to get where I want to be it will.