I’m debating on if I want to go through with a divorce. I feel like I have to...Because my husband was so dishonest about something. But I don’t know if I actually WANT to. This is only the second man I’ve ever been with.so there’s gotta be more to life right? I started to push him away so much before this started. So I accept half the blame of him being an idiot,but the fact that he tried to cover it up once we decided to move forward .. just makes me feel so stupid. He’s an amazing man .. and I started to not appreciate that so I literally would treat him like crap.. I just wanted to be alone for a bit. I deal with depression PPD and just wanted to find myself. I asked him to give me space ..most days I didn’t want him touching me. I actually had him move out and stay with his mom...but we still had a relationship...talking every day &fighting a lot,but still ..Sexually, whenever I wanted to Though..not when he did ..I’m broken BC I found out he had relations with someone and I blame myself .. yet I feel like a doormat for even thinking I have some fault in This. If he would’ve been honest I would have totally respected him more. He doesn’t View this as cheating. Yet I feel 10000 times cheated on.. am I stupid because I’m confused ..

I don’t sleep around so I keep having sex with him and still love him😐 .. but Idk if it’s just because i need sex or because Im still in love. I want to get him back. Make him feel what i feel. When I found out about him .. he sunk to his knees &cried for weeks and said he couldn’t stand to see me so hurt and he’s so sorry...I gave him my wedding ring. Idk if it’s true remorse or the fact he got caught. I Resent him but feel bad that I pushed him to that extent. He cries everyday about how he will do anything to keep me...he also cried and begged me to not ask for space . But I didn’t care back then ....This is the only bad thing I have to say about him since We got together ... 😪Did I ignite this fire?Idk..thanks for listening.