eating problems

so i don’t want to say i have an eating disorder because i don’t want to self diagnose, but I’m 15, 5’2 & weigh 95 pounds. I restrict everyday and eating too much food gives me panic attacks. my mom has started to notice my weight loss and is making sure i’m eating & making me drink pediasure everyday(which I dump down the drain) and i’m afraid she’s catching on. i feel like I should tell her, but i’m scared. it’s almost like half of me is saying I need to get better & the other half is telling me to go further. the thought of recovery is terrifying but I also feel like I should tell my mom. any tips on coping with the fear of recovery & telling my mom?

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COMMENT (2)

El

Posted at
This sounds almost exactly me except I am a lower weight. I never told my mom...the counselor did. I was "turned in" at school and that was that. My mom was upset yes and b/c I was cutting. It's really hard at 1st. I've been working really hard at this and now I have the support I need. U have to be in the right mindset. I can't be everyday but know that people are here to catch u when you fall.

Da

Posted at
It's great you realize that eating disorder voice, it's like an angel and a devil. I suffer from anorexia and have been in treatment the past 2 years. It's extremely hard still for me to have a healthy relationship with food but the sooner you get help the better I am about to go back to a day program because I am restricting and need to be healthy again