Almost a year ago my husband and I moved so he could start a new job. I got a new job as well. About four months ago we were able to find a house, and since then my new job was nice enough to match my work schedule with his rotating schedule. He works both days and nights, 12 hour shifts. My job has my schedule so I am working the same days he is working, but I only work 8 to 4.

I like having our off days together, but at the same time I feel like our off days together are just days when we can get stuff done around the house, and not actually spending time together. I feel like I can never keep the house in order between picking up after him and our daughter, and he feels like he’s not appreciated enough from working all the time.

I’ve tried to talk with him about it, but he feels like I’m not pulling my weight, and still feels underappreciated, even though I tell him that We wouldn’t be where we are today without him. I am thinking about going back to a set schedule at work so I feel more organized, and less stressed with trying to get everything around the house. In hopes that me being less stressed will help him feel less stressed, but that also means that we won’t have very many off days together.

Does anyone else have any success stories with keeping the same work schedule as your significant other?

Has anyone else run into a similar issue with their significant other feeling underappreciated because your off days are spent playing catch up?

Besides straight up telling him, what are some good ways to help your significant other feel appreciated?