How long after infant loss did you try again?

Question

I just want to be a mother so bad. Being pregnant for 9 months, feeling kicks, hearing heartbeats, getting everything ready. Then losing my little girl shortly after birth was terrible. I loved being pregnant and i wanted to be a mom so bad. It's been just over 4 months. I know I need to wait longer but I honestly don't want to. My SO refuses to talk about it, he's terrified it will happen again. I've been to a genetic counsellor, my chances are very slim of this happening again. How long would you or did you wait?

Answer

I think this is too personal a question to give a real answer. You'll be ready when you're ready. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, I can't imagine that pain but I hope you can heal and have a beautiful family someday!

Answer

I am so sorry for your loss. 
I had a loss at 23 weeks gestation just over a year ago. I know it's not the same as a full term loss but I just wanted to let you know what helped me. 
I personally started TCC straight away - if I'm honest I thought it would help me to heal the pain. But it took me exactly 1 year to fall pregnant and it was emotionally much harder than I expected as every month that it didn't work out We felt that loss all over again. When I did fall pregnant I could not have been happier but it also brought a list of unexpected feelings about pregnancy and our first baby which were really hard to cope with. 
I think that when to start TTC is yours and your husbands choice and nobody elses. 
Whatever you decide you know you'll be scared but you'll get there.

I downloaded relaxation and meditation apps which I listened to before bed. This really helped me. I also had a mantra that I would say to myself (and still do) when the anxiety and bad memories came back. 
"The other side of fear is everything you want" this helped me calm down and refocus on the positive and what I wanted. I had nightmares too and I would try to imagine myself on a train station just waiting for the next train to finish my journey whenever those images came into my mind. That helped me. 
I found myself obsessing about the chance of it happening again. I reassured myself with facts.  The most common outcome of falling pregnant is a happy healthy baby. What happened was unfair, but uncommon too and that chances of it ever happening again are even more slim. I'm sure it's something like if I was pregnant 200 times there is only 1 chance of it happening.

Answer

I did not lose an infant but I lost my little girl at 18 weeks gestation. Another woman on here mentioned that it took her a year to conceive after her loss and that was very difficult. I could not imagine how hard that was. You should take some time to heal, and for your husband to heal too. He needs to be able to talk about it.

After my loss I had to wait 3 months for surgery, then another 3 until I could try again. I got pregnant right away. But one thing I should have done was taken a vacation just me and my husband. Just a super relaxing, romantic trip. Because we're so stressed and hurt and everything was overwhelming. Go somewhere you have always wanted go, and you might conceive in that trio who knows? Just take the pressure off of "the deed".

Answer

It will be hard no matter how long you wait. We didn't wait.. Not really. We just had the mindset of "if it happens, it happens". The fear will always be there, it never goes away. Your husband needs time, you need to be on the same page.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Answer

I personally think u have to finish grieving... It's still too early... U will always have that pain with u... But u and ur hubby have to grieve the lost of ur baby... Imm Sooo sorry about ur lost sweetie

Answer

A friend of mine lost her 3week old in may an she just found out she is pregnant from her last period I'd say she's about 6 or 7 weeks

Answer

So deeply sorry for your loss💖💖

Answer

The next month. I've been ttc for a year. Had a micarrage last december.

How long after infant loss did you try again?

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