I do this every month. I promise myself that I'm going to just relax and be zen about things. I'm not going to get caught up in symptom spotting and being devastated when AF shows up. And then around 8 or 9 dpo I lose my mind. I'm obsessed with every twinge and ache, every weird dream and wave of nausea. I'm convinced that I just feel "different" this month. It becomes all I can think about and inevitably ends up with me sobbing in the bathroom when AF does appear.

I'm 11 dpo today, which is usually when I start spotting. I feel all crampy and I'm a wreck every time I have to go pee, terrified of seeing spots. No one here gets it, and I know all you ladies can sympathize. I don't need to tell any of you how badly I want this to be the month I get my rainbow baby. Just preparing myself for disappointment again.