So fucking frustrated
So me and my SO have been together about 2.5 years. The first year or so was great. We got engaged and moved into a house together and I feel like he changed after that. I caught him getting on Facebook talking to ex’s or flirting with women almost half a dozen times. He never met up with them or slept with them but I feel like the intent was there. I drew the line and said enough or you’re out and he stopped as far as I know. The last time was in March.
Aside from the flirting with other women he is extremely insecure and jealous. He’s tries to be better about that too and hasn’t gone through my phone in months, though he used to on a regular basis and even would wake me up in the middle of the night to ask about stuff on my phone. I’ve never cheated on him or given him reason to be jealous.
Then there is his drinking. He doesn’t drink every day or get drunk every day, but for a while he would go out several nights a week and come home drunk and sometimes he would get extremely mean when he’s drunk like borderline abuse. He would always apologize and not remember half of it but then the next week he’d be out again.
So after all of this I have threatened to kick him out about 3 times. I ended up pregnant and now I’m 25 weeks along. He said about 2 months ago he was done with drinking and did well at being home with me at night. On our anniversary he had another incident where he got drunk and was mean to me.
So now he’s “done” with drinking again but there’s been twice now where he’s gone to a bar after work to see his friends. He swears he’s not drinking and I believe him but it bothers me that he’s going to a bar at all, and now twice in one week. I feel like he’s playing with fire and also being selfish going twice in one week when I’m pregnant at home taking care of my other 3 kids after working FT. I should also mention that I make twice as much money as he does so I also pay all of the bills and do 90% of the housework.
He will give me $2-300 per month for bills, make dinner maybe once or twice a week, and will help get my kids to and from school. I guess I just don’t understand why he’s going to a bar if he’s trying to stop drinking, why he thinks it’s ok to go out multiple nights a week and leave me to take care of everything by myself...on top of that I still deal with his constant insecurity constantly asking me if I love him and if I love him more than other guys I’ve been with and then not accepting my answer.
I’m just so emotionally and physically exhausted and I don’t know if this is even worth fighting for anymore. The house is in my name and he has told me before when I’ve threatened to kick him out that he will fight me and I’ll have to evict him through the court system. I honestly don’t have the money or time to do that. I just don’t know what to do anymore.
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