Depression & anxiety

Has anyone developed new depression and anxiety while TTC?

My husband and I are TTC. It hasn't been as long as some of you on here, but it's been way longer than I anticipated.

Every month that passes I feel like my mental state gets worse and worse. I just want to sleep all day, I don't want to talk to my friends, I want to stay at home every day, I don't want to go to work because several girls there are pregnant and I work on a pediatric floor so I'm forced to snuggle sweet babies every day that aren't my own. I've never had any severe issues with depression before. But I almost feel like "if I'm not pregnant this month then I'm just gonna end it all." There's a huge feud in my family right now because my sister won't let us see her child who I have basically raised. So my parents are depending on me to give them more grandchildren and they talk about it every single day and I just feel like a failure.

My mom and dad ask me about it

My coworkers ask me about it

My in laws ask me about it

My friends ask me about it

My grandma asks me about it

My patients ask me about it

I am exhausted 😔