I’ve been w my boyfriend for 1 year now. We had a small breakup and I drunkenly and regrettably had sex with someone else.

Ever since I can’t have sex with him, I have a few times drunk bc there’s no pressure but every time he initiates I get anxiety and make up an excuse

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but it makes me want to cry I feel like such a failure of a woman

Why do I get anxiety trying to have sex, and how can I help