Lost her to DHR

We had little Emily Ryan on 10/6/18 at 11:43 P.M. I loved my first little while with her. But on 10/8/18 we found out that even though we had a closed DHR case that they were gonna get involved and take her. We lost her on 10/10/18 and went to Court on 10/12/18. I couldn't even leave the hospital until I did everything I could to find someone to put her in a safety plan with. I couldn't find anyone. Now she is in foster care and we are fighting hard to get her back. It breaks my heart to know I made it through pregnancy and Delivery just fine and I have all my stretch marks and my breast milk is coming in and all and I don't even have my baby. I can't hold her or even feed her. It makes me feel a little better knowing that I can pump and they will give the milk to her. It just bothers me that all this had to happen. I just need someone that isn't going to judge me because I didn't do anything wrong this time. I learned from my previous mistakes and fixed it all. Now, I'm barely able to make it through the day without squalling because I miss her so much. I can't believe I had to let her go... 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔