Ideas on how to tell my sensitive stepson I’m pregnant please?

Question

This is a bit long winded so please bear with me!
So I’m 16 weeks pregnant with my long awaited (6 years) first pregnancy. My husband and I have been together for 9 years, and he has a son who is 11. My husband and his mum have never been in a relationship throughout his life, so it’s always been separate families. 
Whenever we have brought up him having a brother or sister in the past, he has always said he’s not bothered, but the last time we asked him, he said his mum had told him that his dad wouldn’t want to see him if I had a baby (which obviously is most definitely not the case), so he didn’t want us to have a baby. 
As this is probably the most supportive forum I’m part of, I was hoping some of you guys would have some advise on how to tell him? I’m very open to any ideas!
Thanks in advance

Answer

His dad needs to start by reassuring him of the special relationship they have. Both of you should just keep making sure you tell him how much he’s loved and how neither one of you would ever not want him around. I’d honestly make sure you reassure him often. 
Unfortunately you don’t know what the mother is going to be saying here. (Who tells their child that!! Smh ) 
So without badmouthing his mom you have to make sure that he understands how you feel and that it doesn’t matter what anyone else says. 
Is there a custody/visitation agreement? Maybe making sure he knows you have solid dates and holidays, etc where you’ll be there as always. 
I’d try to make sure that he feels included I the pregnancy and announcing, if you haven’t already. 
Maybe referring to him as the “big brother” and talking about how he’s going to be great at it.

Answer

We had to reassure my stepson (9) that he would be the cool big brother. We had to tell him that younger sisters aren’t mean like big sisters (14) and the little sister will love him and think he is awesome. We don’t have the issue of them ever being told a sibling would replace them but I would tell your stepson you want him around all the time so he can teach his little brother/sister all the fun stuff kids can do.

Answer

I was worried about that w my step son , his dad and i got together when he was 3 but he always wants to be with his dad so i was worried how he would take it that his dad was having another child that he would be able to be with all of the time and he took it great , my daughter is now 2 and they are so close , we are expecting our second daughter in February and he has been fine w that also

Answer

Hi Amanda, I’m going to follow your post if you don’t mind. Unfortunately I don’t have any advice but I’m expecting to find ourselves in a similar situation with my husband’s 6yo son x

Answer

I kind of have a similar situation,but my step son is 3 so it's not as difficult. I'm 16w3d today, but I plan on making sure my step son is involved in anyway possible once baby is here. He's even been to an ultrasound with us. And making sure his dad takes him out for some 1-on-1 things to make sure he doesn't feel forgotten once baby is here. 
You could get him to help pick out things for the nursery, and get him a couple cool new things for his room as well so he doesn't feel like the new baby is getting all the attention. Maybe get his advice on a name? Like pick your top two and ask which one he likes more? (Unless you're dead set on a name already lol) just give him lots of options to be included. But make sure that you also talk to him about things other than the baby. And do things with him that don't just revolve around the baby.

Answer

I have two brothers who were in my life until they were 16 and 11 before their moms alienation got to them. I’d just make having the baby as exciting as you can, include him in as much as possible and have serious talks that yes babies are a lot of work but no you don’t love him any less.

Ideas on how to tell my sensitive stepson I’m pregnant please?

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