I need advice from you all. I’ve been dating this guy for several years and I hate admitting this but I’ve been crushing on another man. I can’t stop thinking about him. I’ve felt this way for over a year but I’ve always pushed those thoughts away because I cannot allow myself to even think of another...I have no respect for infidelity. Yet I feel so guilty because it’s been getting harder and harder to shake these thoughts.

This guy I like is a really good friend of both me and my boyfriend, but I know he likes me as maybe something more... he’s always teasing me, play fighting, flirting. We went in a haunted house the other week and he let me hold onto him because I get scared. He even reached for me and held my hand. A few of our mutual friends have commented on how alike we are. We can argue a lot but it’s because we care about each other and things just feel so right.

I know we both have feelings for each other but neither one of us would readily admit it to each other or anyone else right now.

But how can I think like this?? I love my boyfriend...but I feel like I’m falling in love with my friend. I can’t go on like this.

Do you think this is just a passing fantasy?

Should I try to forget about him and stay with my boyfriend?

Should I admit my feelings to myself and break up with my boyfriend? I know it would destroy him.

Should I try to hint at my feelings to my friend before doing anything, to see if he would admit his?

I’m so torn apart by this.