Being the bad/strict parent

I’ve been married for 3 years now but dating for 9 years jr high sweethearts as they say. We have 2 daughters ages (M) is 6yrs & (I) is 6 mo. I am 23 and husband is 22, I know we are young so it explains some of what I’m going to say. At 17 we had our 1st born and I was as excited as I was with my 2nd. I love being a mom it has always amazing me everything that had to do with parenting. I was raised in a strict household Husband was raised in a laid back household. Now that we are trying to raise our daughter it’s become a challenge to raise them. For a long time we lived apart so he parented my oldest one way while I parented her my way. She was literally an angel with me. I never had to raise my voice nor was I too upset when talking to her. Most of my discipline is just telling her why what she was going was wrong. When my husband & I moved in I notice she would hit him smack yell at him and manipulate him. We had issues with violence between my husband and I but gotten through it. My 6yr witness some and I was told she might have some anger towards her dad without knowing. Now I’m trying to correct her but she has gotten very rebellious this year and her dad is practically afraid of seeing her cry and I’m the bad guy. I’m the parent that tells her what to do & dad is the parent that lets her do as she says. She tells me she hates me she wishes I wasn’t her mom and she runs away from me every time her dad is around. My husband and I are now fighting about our parenting skills more often. I can’t get him to help me. Now we have 2 girls and I’m just scared I’m parenting alone.