My cousin (through marraige - my uncle's wife's son, or son in law, I can't remember which) was killed in a car accident a couple days ago. I used to play with his son when I was little- like 2 to 6 or 7 years old. But since then I have barely seen them (they lived within 20 minutes of us also, and that's nothing bc we lived in the country). Maybe on holidays, but hardly then even. If I were to see them out, I'd say hi but it was very very rare that I'd see them and I don't even know that he would have recognized me grown up.

Anyway, my husband and I were on our way to visit hubby's younger (Jr high and high school) brothers (a 5 hour drive and we only see them once or twice a year) when my mom told me about viewing hours and the funeral. Viewing hours are today (still visiting brothers) and funeral is tomorrow (2 hours before my work shift is over and 2 and a half hours before a prenatal appointment. The funeral is being held an hour and a half from my work and an hour from my home/ doctors office.)

I feel like my mom is pressuring me to be there, and it's making me feel awful to tell her I'm not going. I'm very sad about what happened and I'm very sorry for the family. But, honestly, I didn't know him at all and I don't feel that I need to rush home to go to the viewing or call off work/cancel a doctor's appointment to go to a funeral of someone I don't know. It even seems it would be a little hypocritical of me, seeing how I never saw him when he was living for yeeeears.

I guess my question is - am I being selfish and doing the wrong thing for being like this?