A hoe or not a hoe ?

Question

Okay so I have had sex with quite a few men I would say about 12 men and I'm 22 years old I feel like when I was young I just didn't care. I was raped by my oldest brother when I was 7 and it went on for a while before he went to jail for a different reason. My mother never believed me and even if she did she would say I was lying and that's my family I can't put him in jail. The last time he tried to sneak in my room I was about sixteen and I always lock my door now when I sleep even til this day but somehow he got it open & he choked me and made me give him oral. I ended up leaving home and I was major depressed I was homeless I stopped going to school and I thought all my boyfriend's you have to have sex so I did but now when people (guys) ask how many ppl I slept with I feel so ashamed of myself & even some people would call me a hoe in highschool I hate myself when I think about it and just don't know why I had sex with whoever.🙁

Accepted Answer

You're not a hoe. You've suffered terrible abuse. I am so sorry.

Answer

It's actually really common of rape victims to react in that way you might want to look into it.. you are not a hoe.

Answer

Having sex doesn’t make you a hoe. The amount of people you have sex with doesn’t make you a hoe. Just live and enjoy your life the way you want to enjoy it, as long as you aren’t intentionally hurting others.

Answer

Man’s perspective - you can wake up tomorrow and be a completely different person. You are not defined by your past. If your past sexual history makes you cringe then take a break from sex for a while and discover the other parts of your life that make you feel your self worth. We are all beautifully and intentionally made. We are imbued with a dignity that itself points to God. Although you have been terribly hurt by your brother and the aftermath of his actions, you are not destined to wallow in that shame. Make a choice to pause for a moment - ask for help when you need it - stop associating with anyone that tries to hold you down and find caring people to pour your life into.

Answer

It is just a number. It does not define you. I’m so sorry for what you experienced. I believe and support you.

Answer

I too was sexually abused and I used sex as a way to cope with it for many years. I’ve had sex with roughly as many men as you and I used to beat myself up about it regularly. It does get better. My husband doesn’t care how many men I’ve been with. You need to learn to love yourself! It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in your past! It’s your past for a reason! Do not let it define you! ❤️

Answer

Do not feel ashamed something similar happened to me and I grew up thinking that that’s how someone showed me they loved me but sweetheart know your worth and 12 is not a big number trust me I’m 25 and some people our age can’t even count how many people and however many people you’ve been with shouldn’t even be a factor ya know but don’t let it define you and make you feel less than

Answer

Don’t hate yourself you’re not a hoe. Literally that’s societies way of making you feel like shit. You’ve been through a lot and there’s nothing wrong with sleeping around if that’s what YOU WANT TO Do!! Not for anyone else but for you. 
Sounds like you’re still young and you need time to heal and learn what a real relationship with love and caring is about. Just know that you’re not a hoe. Sleeping around doesn’t change who you are. If you want to be promiscuous then do it but on your terms and not because you feel like that’s how you get love. 
Take care of you baby girl!! You’ve been so strong until this point and you’re only going to get stronger.

Answer

It doesn't matter if you had sex with 200 men. It still doesn't make you a ho. Men have said this to women for years as historically women were virgins until they were married while men were expected to have had sex with women (stupid double standard) and they made women who had sex already feel as if they were worth less. So other women/families got on the bandwagon of "slutshaming". In reality, no one, neither man nor woman should or can judge you for your sex life. No one is the same and everyone's experiences are different. I'm sorry you experienced rape by someone who should've protected you from it, but know that you are not a ho. You are a normal woman 😊.

Answer

Never feel ashamed. Someone’s words cannot belittle you unless you believe them. Know that you’re worth soo much more and you are important. Someone someday will care about you and will not judge you by your past because that has nothing to do with them. Be who you are. 
 
Here’s the sum of my story. 
I used sex as a way to cope I thought that I would receive or feel loved if I had sex with any man that showed interest and It was really my lowest point in life. I was sexually assault multiple times at parties. Where I’d scream and say stop I don’t want to. And he covered my mouth and said “be quite you’re gonna wake up my dad” that night he raped me all over. I felt sooo worthless. I trusted him and he hurt me. It all started when I was just a little girl I was molested by my grandpa. He’d kiss me on the lips and put his hands in my pants. One morning I woke up to him standing over me and told me never to tell anyone what he was gonna do. I was used and abused and I thought that’s just the way it had to be because the person who was supposed to love me did love me in a bad way and took my innocence away.  
... I’m not ashamed. Many women have experienced Sexual assault and using sex to cope or other ways to cope. Just be safe. Take care of yourself. 
Moral of the story. I am who I am. If I hadn’t gone through what I did I don’t know who I’d be. But let me just tell you I think It can get better for you a lot better! Chin up sweetheart. You’re still soo young and have so much to discover about yourself. I am now 23 I have a loving husband and we are expecting a little one in May. Keep your head strong your story doesn’t end here.  ❤️ lots of love

A hoe or not a hoe ?

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