I was 18, just got out of my first long relationship. Almost 3 years. I was drinking a lot, having fun. I met a guy. He was 21, pretty blue eyes and I liked him. A lot. 3 months pass by, we both are drinking every weekend, with each other all the time, can't get enough, having sex, having fun. One weekend, I couldn't finish my beer and got sick and I thought that was odd. I had a pregnancy test at home from my last relationship just incase I'd ever need it, and decided to take it. It was light, but it was there.

I didn't know how to tell the guy. I was scared. Terrified. We wore protection. He was a good guy, but I knew he wasn't going to be happy. And what would I tell my dad? He's going to be so disappointed. I kept quiet that night and just went to bed, I decided since it was light I wouldn't tell him until I went to the doctor.

The next day comes, I make an appointment while the guy is at work. They confirmed it. My heart dropped and I knew I had to tell him. I didn't tell him in the best way, I snapchatted him. After a long 2 hour wait for a response, I got this. 💙

I thought it was going to be okay. The message seemed reassuring, I felt a little better. He came and picked me up after he got off work, already drunk. That night he told me he didn't know if he could love the baby. I was heart broken but I tried to tuff it out.

Fast forward:

After about 2 weeks, he started staying out all night and ignoring me until about 11. Over and over.

My birthday came, and boy was I excited! We had plans to eat at my FAVORITE place! The best steak in town. A place you have to make reservations for! So we made reservations about 2 months before hand so we could get a good table. The reservation was for 6:00pm.

It was about 3:00 I started getting ready, because he was about to get off work. He wasn't answering my texts. I didn't see him till midnight, when I was on my bathroom floor, in my orange dress and black heels, mascara running down my face, eyes red and puffy from me crying. I felt so broken. What had I gotten myself into? He apologized, so it was okay again. About a week later, it was still the same thing. Only see him around 11 when he came home and in the morning before he went to work. One Friday evening I went to the shell to put gas in my car for the following week as I always do, and his truck is there. The only shell station in my town so it wasn't uncommon for you to see people you knew. I wanted to get my charger out of his truck that I had left the night before anyway, so I asked him if i could get it. His windows were dark tinted and you couldn't see in there. I started walking to the door of the truck and he told me not to open the door. When I got to the window, i seen her. A blonde girl. I was humiliated, in a town with a population of 1800, at the shell at 6:30pm. I told him to take the girl home and come get his things.

Fast forward about 2 weeks later. He started telling people the child wasn't his. He got engaged to that girl 2 weeks later. I was around 5 months then. I'm now 39 weeks pregnant, he is still denying this baby, his fiance doesn't want him at the hospital, and I'm still heart broken. But I want to do what's best for my daughter.