I come to you all because this is not the first time you have helped me with opinions..

I will try not to make this very long.

To explain the gravity of this situation- my life has truly reached a point where I feel I can’t breathe. I have been with my S.O for several years now, we have I can honesty say been over all very happy together, we’ve both had several serious relationships before and we both truly believed this one to be the one we thought as our “last, true” relationship. We believed in every way shape and form we were made for each other.

He has two daughters from a previous marriage, I was very accepting and loving even of my younger age (23) and I beg you to not make any judgements on that. I had lost a daughter in 2014 and after that I knew my ULTIMATE dream would always be to be a mother again, I WILL NEVER bend on that. I want to experience that and love my own blood and my own child- I deserve that. I told him that from the beginning. He accepted.

So, we just recently found out one of his two daughters is being diagnosed with autism- it has been very hard on everyone..

He has been very distant and I confronted him, he finally sat me down and told me with hesitation that he doesn’t feel like it’s fair to daughter with autisim to one day in the future to bring another child (with me like I always asked) into the world when she’ll require so much extra attention already and take any attention away from her. To not be able to give OUR child the proper attention or to try and balance any of that. We have no idea at this point how high functioning or where she’ll be on the spectrum she’ll be as she’s only 2 1/2 but he does not want to waste anymore of my time in life on “gamble” or “hoping” how she could turn out. I’m so understanding and this is NO ONES fault. But after all I’ve been dealt in life... This was finally the man I thought was it for me. I sit here and I pull back and fourth with “there must be some other answer that I haven’t figured out yet” or “is this just what I must accept?”

After all we’ve been through together, do I just walk away?

Yes, I’m 23.... Sure, I can finish my schooling and meet someone new but you are all people too and you know darn well the love I’m describing to you..

I have loved in my life and then I have LOVED. And at this point today, I feel so shut down, the first time in my life I am questioning God even after I lost my daughter. My heart hurts with questions.