Soo fucked up rant

I feel so fucked up i mean the super ,im a mom of 5 holding in my shit in anger ,cussing trying my best to be a parent /wife dude it fucken sucks .when i see what i do don't mean for shit .i just want to cry and hide.back in my old days when ifelt like this i would try to commit suicide, but now that im a mom what do i do ?seems what do is not enough ?